I have this really huge canvas. i mean…huge..but this tiny portion of the canvas is the only part that I am happy with. I hate my recent work. I was arrogant. I thought i could handle big work. I was still arrogant even during the moment of realising that I could not do this. Now the work is at no where. It has huge vacant space, un-finished drawings and it is very unbalanced.
I always emphasised on taking baby steps. taking things slow. but i was arrogant. i “believed” in myself and went ahead and tried something that I was totally not ready for.
I may be justifying myself but I’d like to think that this particular event of failure is exactly what I need at this point and I need to admit my own mistake. I have the honour of learning from my own mistake, while I am at the comfort of still studying at an art school. (cuz..i think i’d fucking hate myself if i made a mistake like this while I have to do a commissioned work or something).
So for the rest of this semester, I am gonna work my ass off so i can get what I want by the end of this year. It is my final semester. I want to gtfo of here really badly… and it would be uber nice if i could have a happy ending.
(p.s. I will probably end up cutting up the canvas and make bags out of it. which means I will end up with, may be, 3-4 new bags.)((..yes..the canvas is that big..))
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